The Female Species (And Why Us Men Will Never Understand Them) *PLEASE READ TOO LADIES*

Man I could go on and on and on, but I'll try to keep this to my usual 2 or 3 paragraphs. I've had the average amount of "female companions" in my 31 years. And unlike any other trial and error experiment, I have not learned ANYTHING from any of them. Just when I think I have a grasp on the thinking process of this very mysterious species, I am presented with new evidence that prooves I actually know nothing. I have been lied to, cheated on, and ignored.....I've even been given the "'Honey-I-love-you-I'll-see-you-tomorrow'-and-never-heard-from-again" routine. I would like to think I am a nice guy. Anybody that knows me would agree. I've spent my entire life keeping a good reputation. And that is harder than you would think. Of all these story-tellers, magicians, and escape artists known as women, there are a few that go against the grain and are genuinely out to better their signifigant other's lives. And I tip my hat to you ladies. You deserve the utmost respect, loyalty, and love from the men whose lives you bless.

Now here's where I get confused. Out of that select group of females that I mentioned above, there is a sub-group that are with some of the most abusive, vile, and cruel, men that walk the face of the planet. And rather than running as fast as they can from these monsters, they stay right there with them. Sometimes even justifying their actions and saying "Oh I deserved to get hit in the face with that hot iron" This makes it really hard for guys like me ladies. The opportunity for me to find one of these special women gets thinner for each one of you that takes a fist to the temple area. I'm sorry if I offend any of you, I'm just stating from my observations. After all isn't that what the whole dating scene is? One big social experiment?

I think Bill Maher said it best..."Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them." So ladies, if you are in an abusive relationship, mental or physical....GET OUT. There are still guys out there like me who know how to be gentlemen and would treat you like queens the rest of your lives........Thanks for listening.

TO MY FATHER.

November 5th, 2010. That was the day I lost my dad. 1 year ago today was the worst day of my life. My father was feeling ill for a few weeks. We (meaning my sister and his sisters) tried to get him to go to the hospital, but being the proud man he was, he refused. He was always that way. He was the type of man that would get his arm chopped off and just say "oh well go get me some string, a needle, and some hydrogen peroxide, I'll be alright" I laugh as I say that because it's true, as ridiculous as it sounds. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not making  fun of him or trying to make light of the situation. I just know that dad would rather me laugh and be happy about the time we had together than sit around boo-hooing about the time we now don't.

Now for those of you that never had the privilege of meeting my father I'll sum him up in a few words the best I can. He was not only MY dad. He was not only my sisters dad. He was anyone's dad that needed one. Between me and my sister we always had some freind that would rather spend their days over at my house than their own. Especially in the summer when there was no school. They knew that they would be welcomed over there like it WAS their home. Now that went for the ugly (we now refer to it as "responsible") side of childhood too. If it was my day to mow the lawn and I had a freind that was staying over there for a few days....they were "responsible" to help me. If my sister had a freind staying with her and it was her day to clean the kitchen and do the dishes, her freinds were supposed to help too.

I was born on my dad's 22nd birthday. I guess you could say I was the best birthday present he had. Unlike Molly Ringwald my parents never forgot my birthday. I guess it would have hard to. He was usually the first person to tell me "Happy Birthday" an vice versa. So November 5th is not the day I will remember as the day he died, but the day I'll have to celebrate birthday's without my dad. Sorry to bring everybody down. But that's what a blog is for isn't it? To express one's feelings. Thanks for listening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How on earth will we survive on Earth?

"WASHINGTON (AP) — A prominent physicist and skeptic of global warming  spent two years trying to find out if mainstream climate scientists were wrong. In the end, he determined they were right: Temperatures really are rising rapidly."

Ok. So Richard Muller has changed his mind. But what about the rest of the world? I'm no expert and DEFINITELY no scientist. But  I do think that the Earth is going through some pretty drastic changes. Hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, alien abductions. The signs are there. But the question is....are we ready? What if the polar ice caps melted and left us in 100ft. of salty icewater? Would you be prepared to filter your own urine and drink it?  I would. Heck I do it all the time just to acustom myself to the taste. A little bitter, but no worse than what you would get from the mighty Ohio. And besides, it's not like it's someone ELSE's urine. That's just nasty and immoral.

I'm no lover of sushi, but I do like me some seafood. Do you? Would you be prepared to live off a diet of tuna steak? The average fish has over 90 calories and anywhere from 10-20 grams of protien. And that is a fact....I Googled it. Just picture yourself on your own private boat, feet hanging over the edge, fishing all day (FISH ON ALL YOU PRIMUS FANS!!!!). The wife/husband preparing the seaweed salad, the kiddies playing out in the back yard (stern side). Life wouldn't be that hard would it? No, as long as you prepare NOW. These preparations are not that tedious and require only a little brain power and a few of the almighty greenbacks.

Step 1: SECURE A BOAT.
Step 2: STOCK UP ON SUNSCREEN (min/SPF 30)
Step 3: GET A GOOD, SHARP, FILLET KNIFE
Step 4: LEARN HOW TO FISH
Step 5: BUY A HIGH QUALITY FISHING ROD
Step 6: BUY A GOOD CAMP GRILL AND PLENTY OF FUEL

And there you go. That should get you through the remainder of your now tropical life. Just remember. If the human population splits into tribes and groups....stay away from the ones on jet ski's, they are BAD people. Thank you for you time.

The story of HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhhh boy. The time of year where I get to hand out candy to all the little ghoulies. Did you know that halloween was actually started by a group of people that were addicted to sugar? They happened to live in a time when the sugar was regulated and rationed off to the select few who could afford it, or had enough pull in the village to earn the favor of the chieftan. He would give each huthold a tablespoon of the sweet stuff to last one calendar month. And back then a calendar month ran for 57 days. Meanwhile the power-players in the village would get a 60lb bag to use each week. And that was PER PERSON!!!!

So the down-trodden folks in the village came up with a plan. They started an alliance with the "Dentistomites".  These were evil little creatures that survived on glucose. Without it they became very tired, often not leaving their orifices for weeks. They would lay there like slugs until water and food deprivation overcame them. So the poor people in the village sought out the Dentistomites and told them of the over-abundance of sugar in the village. They would tell the Dentistomites which huts had the most sugar in exchange for 1/4 of the take. The Dentistomites would go into the village after the sun had set and look for the huts without pumpkins on the porch. These were the huts that had the life force the Dentistomites needed. If the occupants refused the Dentistomites would use their specialized tools to pull out one tooth of the sugar hoarders until they finally gave in. Then they would go back to their orifice and divvy out one quarter of the sugar to give to the poor. This went on year after year until the Dentistomites finally died off. But the inhabitants of the land would always remember the days when their teeth would get yanked out by those little Dentistomites that came out of their orifices and take all their sugar away. This eventually became the name for the people who would fix their teeth when something was wrong with them, otherwise known as "DENTISTS". And their orifices they lived in became known as the "Dentist's OFFICE".

So there is the TRUE story of Halloween. As for the name.......they just thought it sounded cool.

My quick thoughts on war (And my first post)

"WAR huh GOOD GOD Y'ALL, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?"
Legitimizing the military industrial complex so the fat-cat politicians can make thier fat-cat dollars and sleep in their fat-cat silk jammies. Sending our young men and women out to die so they can revel at their rising profit margins, drool drizzling off thier chin like oil from a well-head. Having to keep so much folded paper in their left back pocket to balance out the thickness of the fat-cat wallets in their right.
The bombs BOOM the sirens RING but all they hear is CHA-CHING. I think Edwin Starr said it best....."ABSOLUTELY NOTHING"